I was shocked to read recently that we are born with only 2 fears, and public speaking is not one of them! The two fears that we come into this world with are fear of being dropped and fear of loud noises. So where on earth does the fear of speaking come from? Of course, we all know the answer – like many of our fears, it comes from ourselves, our biggest adversary.  Fear of speaking is an acquired fear and is rooted in thinking that we will make a fool of ourselves as well as worrying about being judged by others.

My fear of speaking began in my teens – in fact, I would call it more a phobia than a fear. I was terrified of speaking up in any situation and I would NEVER put my hand up to speak in the classroom or in other situations.  I even recall my University days when I met with all my lecturers at the start of each semester to beg them to refrain from asking me to speak. Well this fear lived with me for the next 30 years! And it wasn’t until I was selected for leadership training in my company that I realized how my fear was affecting my everyday life and my career. Instead of enjoying the training and the chance to interact with my colleagues, I spent the entire week dreading the final presentation that we all had to deliver. When it was my turn, I was literally quaking in my shoes! I managed to get through it but I decided then and there that enough was enough! I realized that life is a speaking role and at the age of 45, I finally needed to find my voice and stop being so scared.

The day I walked into Toastmasters in Phoenix, Arizona changed my life and ranks as one of the most important decisions I have ever made. I remember vividly my first meeting and how afraid I was to merely stand up and say my name in front of the club members. My heart was beating rapidly and I just about managed to introduce myself before sitting back down again with relief. Phew – I did it! I wasn’t sure if I would return to another meeting but then hearing the applause from my fellow toastmasters and knowing that they all had my back and weren’t going to judge me was all the motivation I needed to keep going back for more.

There is no secret to reducing our fear of speaking – it is simply just a matter of standing up and doing it. And then repeating it over and over. And there is certainly no such thing as an overnight success – it is a matter of taking baby steps to build your confidence and then keeping on going. The more you do it, the less afraid you will become.

After 11 years of Toastmasters, I am still nervous (I don’t believe we ever totally eliminate our fear) but now I really love speaking and I am the FIRST to put my hand up whenever a speaking opportunity presents itself.