Have you noticed that we usually talk about leadership skills development only in adulthood? I am rather puzzled by that as I think leadership skills, especially if recognised in a child, should be developed from as early age as possible.
However, we live in a society where the aim to lead is usually translated into being “bossy” ( especially with girls) and strong willed children are usually labelled as spoilt brats. I admit the line is thin, and that it is not always easy to differentiate leadership from ego, but the sooner you pay attention to developing the former and not boosting the latter, the sooner your child can realise leadership is a team effort, while egoistic narcissist power game is most definitely not. The world needs more empathetic leaders who regard leadership as a form of service and not to overpower others. What then are those characteristics in parents that help their children develop emotional intelligence and become better leaders?
- Consistency
Being consistent for many people means setting unequivocal rules and abiding by them at all costs. I believe it has more to do with being an authority for your children not by means of power, but by building trust. In other words, consistency for me is keeping your word at all costs. When you promise something, make it happen, deliver on your promise and watch the bond between you and your child get stronger.
- Empathy
Empathy is the litmus paper for emotional intelligence. But once again, some redefining is needed. In my opinion, empathy is not only showing compassion for the other person, in this case your child, and trying to imagine yourself in their shoes. It also refers to talking about social issues, for example homelessness. A joint walk can be a perfect introduction to a difficult topic like this – don’t look the other way when you see a homeless person, don’t pretend they are not there, but start a conversation about them. Ask your children if they know who these people are, why they may be on the streets, and you may even elicit some solutions from your children as to what could help these people find a job and reintegrate them into the society.
- Good listening skills
Good listening skills cannot be practiced by multitasking at the same time. It actually requires dropping everything and listening to what your child has to say. Although many people are wary of doing this as they believe it may cause their children to be spoilt and demanding, I actually think it has the opposite effect. Paying attention and tending to your child’s needs will make them do the same for others, which is an exceptional trait in leaders.
Nadin Saad, in his 2016 book The Working Parents’ Guide to Raising Happy and Confident Children writes about “latest research into child development, neuroscience and leadership to offer a series of tools that will help any parent, whatever their parenting style, utilise these skills effectively at home”. The article is a summary of this research and lists ten skills which represent top leadership skills but can be implemented in parenting, too. The three I have chosen have been inspired by this list. Incorporating these three core skills can help you build a solid parenting strategy and indirectly help your children build a strong leadership strategy. There is no need to wait until they grow up – raise future leaders today!