There is a magic behind giving and receiving gifts. It fills us with joy when we either get what we wished for or gift someone else with what they have been longing for. There are so many great things that we can gift each other with, but for some reason we get lost along the way. And getting close to Christmas, I feel like I need to talk about this topic.

We can give presents to express our gratitude, to remember a special day or event or just to uplift someone`s day. And even if gifting can be many incredible things there are a few things it is definitely not. 

Gifting is not about getting materialistic; it is not about making others uncomfortable and it is definitely not about showing how amazing we are. But for some reason or other, this is what we do, even unconsciously. We gift others just so that we feel better, not caring how the other person would feel about that specific gift. No matter whether we give something from the bottom of our heart and we mean the best, if that gift is not personal or if it makes the other person uncomfortable, the only thing we do by it is shining ourselves.

Giving presents could be so much more than this. When I talk to people and ask them what was the best gift they received, their answer is most probably more time with their loved ones, a holiday, an exciting experience, a big hug or even some nice, encouraging words. I have hardly ever heard someone say “a big car”, “a bottle of wine” or anything similar. Sometimes it truly is more valuable to give the person a card where you express your positive feelings about him or her, where you show how they have changed your life for the better, how amazing that specific person is and that you see behind the mask, behind the curtain and you are grateful for that.

I have mentioned before that the best gift is personalised. I always believe that when we know someone well enough, we do not need to ask what they want because they tell us one way or another. The best gift is something that the person is longing for but would not buy/get for oneself. The best present is revealed to you when you stop talking about yourself and your ideas and start truly listening to what the other person is saying. They might tell you that they feel tired and exhausted, then you could gift them a relaxing day or a massage. When someone tells you that they love an author or feel inspired by a person, you could get them a book from that specific author or get them something similar in that topic. If you want to give them best present ever, you need to ask yourself what it is they really love, what they long for, what they mention all the time because they wish they could have it. 

Conscious gifting is all this and a bit more. A conscious present is something that you give without expecting anything in return. It is about giving something because you think it would lift the other person up, would make them smile. Look at your gift and ask yourself, how will the person really feel about this gift? Am I gifting this because I like it or because I know they would truly enjoy it? Am I giving this present so that I feel better or am I doing it so that the other person wills feel uplifted by it? Am I putting others in an uncomfortable situation or not? 

I would like to challenge you to try to find one gift for your loved ones this year that did not cost you any money (or maybe just very little) but you know they would love it. Try to gift something that you could do together, an experience to remember back to, something that they would love to do. Play some games, make them laugh, create a special moment together. 

I would like you now to think about this person, think about his/her personality, hobbies, interests and most importantly, what are they longing for. I would like you to start listening to what they say, try to hear the hidden message behind those words and figure out the perfect gift for THEM not for you. The only thing you should keep in mind is that person and the situation in which you are giving the gift.